Spider-Man Obituary

When someone dies way too young it is very sad and tragic. However, when I go I hope that I will be able to have such an awesome out look and leave my family with a smile on their face instead of tears in their eyes. A man by the name of Aaron Joseph Purmort of Minneapolis, died at the tragic young age of 35. Before he died he decided that he wanted to write his own obituary and revealed that he was really the ultimate super hero Spider-Man! Apparently he had had spent the last few years fighting the evil villain Cancer and called out his son to avenge his death.

Purmort, Aaron Joseph age 35, died peacefully at home on November 25 after complications from a radioactive spider bite that led to years of crime-fighting and a years long battle with a nefarious criminal named Cancer, who has plagued our society for far too long. Civilians will recognize him best as Spider-Man, and thank him for his many years of service protecting our city. His family knew him only as a kind and mild-mannered Art Director, a designer of websites and t-shirts, and concert posters who always had the right cardigan and the right thing to say (even if it was wildly inappropriate). Aaron was known for his long, entertaining stories, which he loved to repeat often. In high school, he was in the band The Asparagus Children, which reached critical acclaim in the northern suburbs. As an adult, he graduated from the College of Visual Arts (which also died an untimely death recently) and worked in several agencies around Minneapolis, settling in as an Interactive Associate Creative Director at Colle + McVoy. Aaron was a comic book aficionado, a pop-culture encyclopedia and always the most fun person at any party. He is survived by his parents Bill and Kim Kuhlmeyer, father Mark Purmort (Patricia, Autumn, Aly), sisters Erika and Nicole, first wife Gwen Stefani, current wife Nora and their son Ralph, who will grow up to avenge his father’s untimely death.

There is nothing funny about cancer or losing someone you love, but it’s comforting to see that Aaron had an awesome sense of humor all the way up to the end. My heart goes out to his family and children. Thanks for letting us share Aaron’s awesome obituary. R.I.P. Spider-Man…As always let me know your thoughts on this Nerd Nation. Does this sound like something you would like to do if it was your time or do you think it should be more serious? Leave me your thoughts in a comment below, on my Facebook page, or on my Twitter page.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *